My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize