Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
