i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
