You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
