Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
