I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
