My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She needs sedatives and a leash
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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