brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
