at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm both gender and math confused
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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