I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
