how can u be prego again
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
