somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
