It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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