did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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