After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
