You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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