Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
