'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Help. Why am I so naked?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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