your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
