I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
