Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
