yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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