I showed him my bush... on skype.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
