dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
