anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
