A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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