i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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