What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize