He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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