Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
