well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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