shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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