that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize