why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
