you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
