Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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