if i can run in heels then i can drive
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
