does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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