dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
