She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
