Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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