So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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