So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
