This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize