Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
