I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize