I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
