I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
