i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
