I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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