I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
