I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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