Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Go christen that room with your naked body.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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