So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
