who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
