at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Even my vagina gasped.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize