She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
