I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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