My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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