I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
