So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
