After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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