it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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