she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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